Many of the lakeside brothers I know are not great partakers of the frothy fluid and so my one good friend and roommate is not an exception.But do I need to say that they have an eye for the lasses!!,you know what they say about men? It is that you are either great at irrigating your throat, or you dearly love politics or football if you are not so good at chasing skirt wearers and hence it’s a unwritten rule that if you don’t fall under any of the above categories, you are either a thief or impotent!!
So, my guy not being a partaker of the fluid that turns the thwackiest of the ladies into super beauties with every single sip, has a soft spot for the chics,and boy! Does he know what turns them on ;( read lies!)or what else would make a dude call a lady at 10pm obvious when the calling tariff is so low and tell her in a mellow voice that``hi sweetheart, the love of my life, the custodian of my heart who also doubles up as the future mother of my future kids!!i just called to let you know that I’m at the university’s health unit where I’m being attended by nurses and being fed with pipes because have missed you to the extent that of late eating has become so impossible to me…..”Mind you by that time he’s rolling and turning with the impact of the Chinese super tankers being used in construction of Thika super highway; express courtesy of code 14-34,I mean two combinations of code 7-17!!
As is tradition in NUC,and many other universities around the world, and by this I mean including karatina university,laikipia university and even mai mahiu university, and yes Kenya is such a university oriented country!!!,Fridays find many students strolling in droves to the nearest watering joints and clubs to shake leg, and grab one or two beers if not twenty beers(when there is free booze of course!!).being a first Friday of the semester when one is loaded like they just broke a deal with some of our young and flamboyant Kenyan mps who just won’t explain the source of their instant cash,and no, they are not pharmacist so don’t ask me the difference between drugs and medicine!!ask them if you manage to get past their bouncers whose brain size grows inversely proportional to their bodies and hence they can (mis)handle Mercy Keinos of this country.well,back to my tall black muscular lakeside brother.
He found himself among a group of excited-soon-to –be –broke university lads and lasses headed to:oh yes you guessed right! MAHOGANY/MID-ROCK/MORAN!.If you are a newcomer in Narok,and you are itching to spoil yourself good and to spoil your hard earned cash too, this should be your first stop.infact,it’s a one-stop shopping spree, you can buy yourself any meal of your choice and taxis are on ready if your meal of choice happens to be a breathing creature.!so they did arrive peace to party the night away and I bet they were all not less than 0.016 million richer courtesy of the Higher Educations Loan Board!
As usual, one starts by sitting aside and watching the actions at the centre stage, the main players, the single and willing (to dance!)and asks for a drink to relax a bit before going for the kill! And this is the strategy my boy used before he laid his (lofty)eyes on a beauty he swears up to today he had never seen such a beauty in his life, she wore clothes that hugged her hour-glass figure in a way that left many brothers drooling. The mannequins’ and sequins on her white satin top appeared holy-white after the dance floor lighting effect reflected back in the packed dance floor, she was dancing alone and seemed so composed, so in control and so classy(characteristics that get men running away from ladies, but that’s a story for another day)
My brother being the bold type approached her with that killer 13-carat golden smile and as usual or as expected, the lady put up some side shows of a person not interested and not before long they were moving to the rhythm of ``if you can’t love me now..don’t love me later” and boy! Was the lady cute, she had a way she smiled with those snow white teeth with a gap in between and my friends knees buckled as some other part of his anatomy stirred awake and aware! She gyrated her generous hips in a way that made many ladies leave the dance floor, or what would you do if you are a lady, you are dancing with a man and he stops dancing with you to stare at some some beautiful tall maa chic?!
As expected, there are some songs one has to move real close and the more you move closer the more you get to know each other, in every way!!So this girl cum angel says she’s a maasai and is from around but has come to have fun as the parents are away on a business trip (read; grazing cows away from home!!)she had these hands that had magic, she rubbed the guys chest as he had unbuttoned the shirt when the heat became so much, and hence when she say the guy was completely swept off his feet after her therapy of touching his various sensitive joints, it was her time to go for the kill
``Han, so thirsty, will you get us some drinks?’ why not!!Was the response from Jatelo.And then he was given a series of rubs and soft touches as the music blurted out and he was asked,``sweety,there is a dress I love and it has just hit the market in town..”by now he was so into the lady and amid short breaths all he could say was ``yes! Yes!”he was touched again and by this time he was promising the lady even to buy her a taxi car and a house in Lenana,mark you he was not under influence of any drink as he doesn’t do alcohol, talk about the strength of a woman!!
The real shocker came when they went to the counter to get the drinks, the lady was surprised that the guy just asked for alvaro and the lady not being used to shying away, asked for some chilled champagne!!note carefully that the maximum money my guy over here swears has ever used to woo a lady is just 50 bob in chips and he swears again and again that he can never use more than that,and having never bought beer or wine, leave alone knowing the names, he encouraged the lady to even add the bottles. He hoped the lady would shy away and say``oh, no, im good with this, the lady picked some more and you know the price of exotic wines like champagne!!The guy thought that they would be in fact cheaper than soda because they have a bitter taste, as he had put it!!so the policy of the club is pay first and just to impress the lady in question he reached into his pocket and pulled out a wad of a thousand new notes and gave one note and said he had no less money, the bartender looked at him as if he had heard an insult, this is not nearly enough! ‘barked the bartender, and wanting no embarrassment the dude gave away two more thousand notes pretending to be so at ease with it,meanwhile,his heart was racing and sweat formed on his brow when he received a cash change 0f 65 shillings from 3k,
He started feeling dizzy and that’s the last bit of the memory he has as from what happened from there saw him rushed to the university’s health unit and this time not due to missing a person!!but he is putting up a revenge mission on the lady and he swears even though he never drinks, this time round he is ready to down a crate of sodas and beers combined just to show the lady some financial dust, he intend to leave her admitted in the bank!!the date is next weekend and so keep your eyes on this page!!
That's rili hillarious, I can imagine how frustrated the lakeside friend was! The amount was 58.7 times more than his 50 bob. Oh my.....!
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