HELB:BLESSING OR CURSE IN CASH DISGUISE??

The elections are over,the CATS are beckoning and the HELB is almost ending,
One of the joys of being a comrade is the privilege of having a multi-billion shilling government funded kitty to utilize however it is deemed fit. Of course these monies are meant to be repaid once one starts earning an income but the general rule that applies is that the future will sort itself out when it graduates to the present. Thus, the curse of ‘the little brown men’.
Of course there are exceptions which include the perceivably shady village bred folk and the goody two shoes types who eat, sleep and dream of the library amidst much mockery and disdain. The result is that most eventually end up going with the flow succumbing to the pressure from their peers. So what exactly constitutes the average cycle of the HELB loan?
At first it starts as a rumor. Someone posts it on Facebook, a phone call here and there and voila, that eagerly awaited confirmation that ‘the little brown men’ have actually landed in town. It could be any amount between Sh. 5,000 to Sh. 30,000 but the excitement that it’s arrival elicits is unquantifiable.
The first step is always to reduce the amount to ‘manageable levels’. After all, student accounts are not known to host large sums of money so in order to relieve undue duress on the account it is only reasonable to withdraw a modest sum. This maiden withdrawal is usually to the tune of a couple of thousands and may be used to purchase liquor, pizza’s, chocolate and what have you. Whatever remains out of it may be squandered.
Traditionally, HELB usually arrives between a week and a weekend before the reporting date. Since comrades are still at home, it is requisite that they entertain their neighbors, extended family and fellow villagers before heading back to campus. Besides, how else will they know you are in the University?
Upon arrival, there is the little ritual of getting reacquainted with friends after a long period apart. This could be in the form of shopping, partying, raving, throwing parties, going out…well, you get the drift. Woe unto (s)he who refuses to partake in these customary practices as they shall be labeled stingy, uncool and plotless.
In the early weeks of the semester, the student center is a hub of activities as comrades flock the establishment to mingle and interact over drinks and delicacies such as beef and chicken. However, as the semester progresses, the diet gradually changes to chicken products such as eggs served with ugali. Towards the end, it will have evolved into chicken food which essentially implies cereals like green grams and githeri.
It has been established that there exists an inverse relationship between HELB and relationships. When the bank balance is high, coupling in campus is often at it’s peak often at the gentleman’s bill. When the tide in the bank account goes down, romance sinks to an all time low.
By the end of the semester, many a comrade are penniless, loveless and oblivious of the piling debt sheet at the 18th floor of Anniversary Towers where the fund’s headquarters are located. Much to the joy of the nerds and the