ELEVATION OF COLLEGES TO UNIVERSITYS NOT AS BAD AS IT’S BEING PAINTED TO LOOK LIKE.

Over the past few weeks, Kenyans have been expressing their utmost displeasure with the elevation of middle level colleges to university colleges and condemning it in the strongest possible terms but I beg to differ with them.

Over years, the number of students who have been qualifying to join the university through the Joint Admissions Board has been rising steeply contrary to the expansion of the few public university we have in the country and it is  constitutional and moral right for a student who has worked so hard and qualified to join the university to do so. Majority of the students have no means of flying out of the country and take their courses overseas like their rich counterparts and hence these university colleges are a warm welcome to them

It would hurt a parent to have their child stay at home and fail to report to university and they are qualified just because the universities are few and are full. By the way, unlike their rich counterparts, those that go to these universities have no choice but to go where the JAB chooses for them to go out of the four universities they apply to join, but for the rich few, they can pop into any university at any time and I suppose that majority of the those opposing the move are the rich few who have already made public universities full with the self-sponsored students, and so I wonder where they want the poor majority to move to next.

I  beg them to understand that even Rome was not built in a day and even those great universities they try to contrast with universities started as less or same as those university colleges and so it’s just a matter of time and they will grow too. After all, I wonder whether they have thought of all the good these university colleges are bringing to the surrounding society in terms of infrastructure development, job creation as they try to expand and get more staff, and also since they are spread all over the counties, they are bringing about a balanced economic development all over the country.

They act as a catalyst to those students from nearby schools who have never set foot in campus and hence they feel motivated and challenged to work harder and join there friends in the campus and they get to  interact with them too. The university colleges do not attract people from only nearby area only and hence they provide a rich ground for social cultural exchange and hence reducing negative ethnicity and promoting positive tribalism. On many occasions some of these university colleges share the syllabus with the main university’s which are taught by the same lecturers and hence the difference in studies are minimal. After all, they have few number of students who are easy to handle than some of the main universities where you find a class with over 1200 students. So I beg Kenyans to take improvements as this on a positive scale and exercise patience as the colleges’ grow. They should also stop corrupt practices which slows down the growth of economy which hinders growth of these university colleges.

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE ADMINISTRATORS OF NAROK UNIVERSITY COLLEGE

Dear sirs/madams

I sincerely hope this finds you well in good state of mind, health and in every other way. This is not a love letter so enough of pleasantries and small talk, so I will move straight to the main points of addressing this letter to you.

I want to know if you really are aware of the state of things in this university college have noted with a lot of concern that what is happening around is just but a very organized scheme of confusion:starting from the way various schools are run, the way the time table is set, the way information flows from top(administration) to bottom(students) and vice versa, the way the state of the library and general state of things.

I will start with ACADEMICS. Good sirs, I loudly wonder, since when did a course move from one to school to another school as easy as the way it happens in Narok university? You see, the students in journalism, communication and public relations class have moved to a record breaking three schools in a span of one academic year. There admission letter says that they had been admitted in the school of information science but alas! On arriving here they were shifted to school of business and human resource development. As if that was not enough, they are now in school of education and social arts. They don’t know which the next school they are going to be is and so kindly let them know so that they are adequately prepared to move.

Taking a walk through the library which has of late become an academic desert due to lack of books one can’t help but sympathize with the situation in there. It has become one large room where it is convenient for one to go and study because there are soft chairs and conducive environment for one to study without disturbance of the noises outside and not because it’s an academic power house as one may think it is. There is less than five books on communication and less than two on journalism,they were there last semester and now they can’t be found, can someone over there give a pretty water-tight explanation and yes to answer your question, this is a student who is taking journalism and hence his interest in communication books, and general welfare of students in general, I read from a book(its non in our library,!)that journalists are also known us public watch dogs!!

Sirs, journalism  requires some practical lessons. lot of equipments are required especially in the context of job market competition in a world that is crazy about going digital, don’t you think that it’s a shame that a student in 3^rd year has never operated a camera yet they are taking journalism, and I’m not talking about using a camcorder or teleprompters and video editions or how to write for the online audience! It’s a shame that students taking a certificate in radio and TV production  in a city back street college can beat a 3^rd year bachelors degree from this university in this college hands down in the most basic things and were I an employer you make a guess whether I will go for the papers or skills.

I would love to know how we have managed to stay without internet for the last 3 weeks since we opened,I thought  access to information is a global human need.?all the other public universities have free wireless  internet apart from our college,nay,our university! Explain how two computers are able to serve a population of 3,000 students in the library and tell me about computer lab like I suspect you are about to because the room is ever in use with computer science students using the few virus infected computers all the time. And oh yes, one dean over there in school of science has a thing for students going there and you are not taking a science oriented subject which leaves me foaming on the mouth like a bull and fills me with desire to give him a lecture on uses of internet, and even a thousand and two reasons why face book which he  vehemently curses those that try to access it from there, can assist students carry out  good connections and links with professionals and future employers.Otherwise,why would we have various people, considered to be top in the world, including Barrack Obama(who my lakeside roommate swears is a great grand cousin from his father’s clan!)create a face book account.?We need free wireless internet from the cow sheds beyond Serengeti all the way down to the fence on the field and down to kamoja kamoja.

It’s so painful to deposit fees in the school account and up to now, we don’t know or have not seen some lecturers in some classes. All this  is because some are taking advantage of the chaos and confusion entrenched on the timetable, shameful to say by the timetabling committee. Why is it that they have never gotten it right? The classes are always on the wrong rooms, can you pin-point to me where room 22 is? Surely..From now henceforth we want to be furnished with details of the timetable online. Or what is the work of the I.T team wonder when we will stop queuing like in the KANU era pay school fees and book hostels.

I hope you have noticed with a lot of (un)concern that the population of the university is really surging forward and its just but a matter of time before it explodes. As a journalist-trainee, I know research is important and I have done my research and confirmed that on January there will be more students joining us have unconfirmed reports that the second years are to take another long holiday in January to create space for the oncoming students which would not go down well with them because they would like to clear from this place as quick as possible and move on with the life elsewhere to serve the public. Is it true that after just 3 months of reading and also idling around the first years have gone for the long holiday?

Currently, It takes around 45 to 1 hr of queuing to get served in the mess, and mark you not all students eat in the mess for now because those with classes opt to go and eat(expensive, unhealthy food) outside rather than queue in the mess. One (slow)person serving over 1,500 students is not a realistic way of doing things, even with my slow wit in maths,it tells me that something does not add up,right?so how are you prepared for the explosion in population that is to come up in January and closer still how will it be like over exam time? How will the library serve us thought that an institution like this should grow(work-force,technologically,infrustrucure-wise) with the growth in population?

To avoid any inconveniences’ in future, how about we be issued with full year academic calendar in advance so that we just don’t wake up one morning and hurray! We have a function. And be given advances notices in future, and please correct me because I stand to think that the ploy at the library, that one cannot get a book without the plastic i.d card is a plot to lock majority from borrowing books and realizing that there are no books because majority who lost the i.d and paid for new ones are yet to be issues with them and so they can never borrow books from the lib,so are they not part of us?

I have also in my many random  wonder thoughts as I wander around the compound(with no lectures to attend and not by my choosing)asked myself what the identity of our university is,?K.U is blue,MOI main is green,UON,is light blue, what is the color of NUC?,we don’t have a flag to identify with,the gate is a whole different color to the theme of our adverts in the newspapers, our website(sic)all it tries to say is that we are next to maasai mara,and by the way, who made that website?hehe,reminds me of the professional joker who made the Toyota vitz car, which I’m sure none of you rides in such a car.

But nevertheless good sirs, don’t get me wrong, I love this place dearly,infact I’m in love with this university ambience and the surrounding fauna and flora..Including fionas,faiths fridahs and friends, but I’m afraid that’s not what brought me here!!i mean we have some things that we can say are proud of, including the warm and occasionary hot showers, the roofed pavements, the well,anthing else? The friendly and helpful dean of students maybe,but we did not come here for hot showers and by the way I think that what heats the water is natural solar otherwise were it human, it would have suffered the fate of the suswa T,V rooms socket fate,has the electrician seen it? And what’s happening to the lights in Serengeti?on a certain night a few days ago, in a few rooms, an electric fault caused untold loss to peoples computers and it passed like that, and supposing it started fire? we would now be mourning and saying what good young men they were,..and let me stop there because the thought makes me wanna shed a tear. And where has the fire extinguishers gone to? What have you put in place as a emergency exit plan incase of anything in those hostels, how safe are they with the grilled windows hope the new hostels designers had a plan on that one because anything can happen.

Thank you for taking you a lot of free time to read this,

For now, ponder on those few queries as the judge breaks for the lunch, and  student leaders(the Student Governing Council), stop sighing sighs of relieve, you are the next on the docks of this fire court!!

           YOU ARE FREE TO LEAVE THE COURT FOR LUNCH BREAK!!!

So the debate goes: streets smarts vs Book smarts...

About three years ago, my life plan was to hustle dough, climb up the ladder and make cash – be some sort of Kenyan Gangsta (I wanted it to come out in the light of American Gangsta) but definitely it has backfired… Kenyan Gangsta sounds so Mungiki… I will stick to Kenyan Corporate Hustla…anyway, I digress. I was watching Mr. Trump doing his routine job of hiring and firing guys and looking important as a bunch of ambitious cafones ran after him, doing tasks under strict deadlines hoping to be employed eventually. Anyway, in this particular season, half the interns were high school and college dropouts while the other half were ordinary folks who went for Bachelors Degrees, Masters, Second Masters, Doctorates, Second Doctorates, MBA, BMAs, LLB's and all sorts of papers. It was an interesting game as Trump – the rich executive producer of the apprentice – sat back and watched with a smug look on his face.

Old people, akina your father (or your old man) and your mother (or old lady) value education. Young guys (like “us guys”) know that you gatta hustle hard for that cheddar or whatever the rappers say these days. Then as young guys, we show how we have adequate proof. Bill Gates made it despite dropping out of school, Mark Zuckeberg also did it…we go ahead and list the likes of Njenga Karume locally. Shule si lazima,na hautanishow. Degree nasaka kufurahisha mzazi…blah blah blah…

Okay, kids….sit down and listen and listen good. What you never knew is that most of the guys who dropped out of school failed and failed miserably in their so called hustles. Most of the billionaires in the Forbes list actually went to school and had good education – pretty much more than 70%. So if you and your hard hardheadedness want to be among the way below 30%. Be my guest. Education does not guarantee you a good life, but it takes you miles ahead to establish a footing for good life. In Kenya, it is even harder to make it without a good education. Point of correction on Bill Gates and Zuckeberg…these guys, despite not having degrees, they were so good in what they do. Very good that they had the confidence of dropping out of school. No, do not get me wrong, I am not saying that you aren’t that good – these guys were in the “best in the world” league at whatever they are doing. And do you really think that they will employ people who do not have a formal education?

I am not saying that without formal education you are doomed. I am saying that you will have to work twice or thrice as hard to make it. Attitude is never a substitute for competence. Bob Collymore is one street smart guy who is running the show at Safaricom as the CEO. Michael Joseph took the study road, both of them are competent, but their stories are completely different and dynamic. There is no one sure way to success. To some people, books were not meant for them, but they are blessed with a knack of seeing opportunities and they make shrewd businessmen. Others with formal education are equally astute. Though I see the need of formal education, I think one still needs a bit of street smartness to get through in business. Attitude is never a substitute for competence, it is a complement.,NEVER!

HOW A GAP-TOOTHED MAASAI BEAUTY LEFT MY LAKESIDE ROOMATE GASPING FOR (FINANCIAL) AIR AT MID-ROCK CLUB!!!

Many of the lakeside brothers I know are not great partakers of the frothy fluid and so my one good friend and roommate is not an exception.But do I need to say that they have an eye for the lasses!!,you know what they say about men? It is that you are either great at irrigating your throat, or you dearly love politics or football if you are not so good at chasing skirt wearers and hence it’s a unwritten rule that if you don’t fall under any of the above categories, you are either a thief or impotent!!

So, my guy not being  a partaker of the fluid that turns the thwackiest  of the ladies into super beauties with every single sip, has a soft spot for the chics,and boy! Does he know what turns them on ;( read lies!)or what else would make a dude call a lady at 10pm obvious when the calling tariff is so low and tell her in a mellow voice that``hi sweetheart, the love of my life, the custodian of my heart who also doubles up as the future mother of my future kids!!i just called to let you know that I’m at the university’s health unit  where I’m being attended by nurses and being fed with pipes because have missed you to the extent that of late eating has become so impossible to me…..”Mind you by that time he’s rolling and turning with the impact of the Chinese super tankers being used in construction of Thika super highway; express courtesy of code 14-34,I mean two combinations of code 7-17!!

As is tradition in NUC,and many other universities around the world, and by this I mean including karatina university,laikipia university and even mai mahiu university, and yes Kenya is such a university oriented country!!!,Fridays find many students strolling in droves to the nearest watering joints and clubs to shake leg, and grab one or two beers if not twenty beers(when there is free booze of course!!).being a first Friday of the semester when one is loaded like they just broke a deal with some of our young and flamboyant Kenyan mps who just won’t explain the source of their instant cash,and no, they are not pharmacist so don’t ask me the difference between drugs and medicine!!ask them if you manage to get past their bouncers whose brain size grows inversely proportional to their bodies and hence they can (mis)handle  Mercy Keinos of this country.well,back to my tall black muscular lakeside brother.

He found himself among a group of excited-soon-to –be –broke university lads and lasses headed to:oh yes you guessed right! MAHOGANY/MID-ROCK/MORAN!.If you are a newcomer in Narok,and you are itching to spoil yourself good and to spoil your  hard earned cash too, this should be your first stop.infact,it’s a one-stop shopping spree, you can buy yourself any meal of your choice and taxis are on ready if your meal of choice happens to be a breathing creature.!so they did arrive peace to party the night away and I bet they were all not less than 0.016 million richer courtesy of the Higher Educations Loan Board!

As usual, one starts by sitting aside and watching the actions at the centre stage, the main players, the single and willing (to dance!)and asks for a drink to relax a bit before going for the kill! And this is the strategy my boy used before he laid his (lofty)eyes on a beauty he swears up to today he had never seen such a beauty in his life, she wore clothes that hugged her hour-glass figure in a way that left many brothers drooling. The mannequins’ and sequins on her white satin top appeared holy-white after the dance floor lighting effect reflected back in the packed dance floor, she was dancing alone and seemed so composed, so in control and so classy(characteristics that get men running away from ladies, but that’s a story for another day)

My brother being the bold type approached her with that killer 13-carat golden smile and as usual or as expected, the lady put up some side shows of a person not interested and not before long they were moving to the rhythm of ``if you can’t love me now..don’t love me later” and boy! Was the lady cute, she had a way she smiled with those snow white teeth with a gap in between and my friends knees buckled as some other part of his anatomy stirred awake and aware! She gyrated her generous hips in a way that made many ladies leave the dance floor, or what would you do if you are a lady, you are dancing with a man and he stops dancing with you to stare at some some beautiful tall maa chic?!

As expected, there are some songs one has to move real close and the more you move closer the more you get to know each other, in every way!!So this girl cum angel says she’s a maasai and is from around but has come to have fun as the parents are away on a business trip (read; grazing cows away from home!!)she had these hands that had magic, she rubbed the guys chest as he had unbuttoned the shirt when the heat became so much, and hence when she say the guy was completely swept off his feet after her therapy of touching his various sensitive joints, it was her time to go for the kill

``Han, so thirsty, will you get us some drinks?’ why not!!Was the response from Jatelo.And then he was given a series of rubs and soft touches as the music blurted out and he was asked,``sweety,there is a dress I love and it has just hit the market in town..”by now he was so into the lady and amid short breaths all he could say was ``yes! Yes!”he was touched again and by this time he was promising the lady even to buy her a taxi car and a house in Lenana,mark you he was not under influence of any drink as he doesn’t do alcohol, talk about the strength of a woman!!

The real shocker came when they went to the counter to get the drinks, the lady was surprised that the guy just asked for alvaro and the lady not being used to shying away, asked for some chilled champagne!!note carefully that the maximum money my guy over here swears has ever used to woo a lady is just 50 bob in chips and he swears again and again that he can never use more than that,and having never bought beer or wine, leave alone knowing the names, he encouraged the lady to even add the bottles. He hoped the lady would shy away and say``oh, no, im good with this, the lady picked some more and you know the price of exotic wines like champagne!!The guy thought that they would be in fact cheaper than soda because they have a bitter taste, as he had put it!!so the policy of the club is pay first and just to impress the lady in question he reached into his pocket and pulled out a wad of  a thousand new notes and gave one note and said he had no less money, the bartender looked at him as if he had heard an insult, this is not nearly enough! ‘barked the bartender, and wanting no embarrassment the dude gave away two more thousand notes pretending to be so at ease with it,meanwhile,his heart was racing and sweat formed on his brow when he received a cash change 0f 65 shillings from 3k,

He started feeling dizzy and that’s the last bit of the memory he has as from what happened from there saw him rushed to the university’s health unit and this time not due to missing a person!!but he is putting up a revenge mission on the lady and he swears even though he never drinks, this time round he is ready to down a crate of sodas  and beers combined just to show the lady some financial dust, he intend to leave her admitted in the bank!!the date is next weekend and so keep your eyes on this page!!

OF MEXICAN SOAPS AND GOOD MEN.

Oddly, William Ruto, Joshua Arap Sang and Henry Kosgey’s Hague confirmation hearings provided unexpected reprieve. For two blissful days I was glued to the set, watching a hazy satellite feed that beamed a highly anticipated courtroom drama. Reality TV does not get better than this. The ICC pre-trail hearings have become a blessing in disguise for us Kenyan men who are overloaded with soap operas on TV. The women in my life were not amused that station programmers decided to suspend their soaps without so much as an apology.

Nowadays evening prime time TV across the networks is ruled by Latin American telenovellas (fancy name for a TV soap). Daytime TV belongs to Nollywood. Soaps are sold as entertainment for the female demographic and they balance it out with the news that men like to think of as issue related. The issue often being wardrobe choices of our favourite female newscasters or why some stations stuck in the dark ages refuse to accord their female anchors full body shot treatment.

Politics is the recurring storyline in the male soap opera. Men are fascinated by the shenanigans and trickery employed in the pursuit of power. They will pore through every minute aspect of their favourite politician’s life to appear informed. For many women, politicians are merely a passing fancy much like footballers. The men are ranked on looks, charisma, commercial appeal and the only important consideration is that the handsome, happily married, well-spoken one, wins in the end. They are not all caught up in the intrigues unless it involves illicit sex. From Clinton to Zuma to DSK, the bigger the man, the lower he sinks.

Most men regularly dismiss soaps as subordinate and trivial. A cheap fantasy trip for bored housewives, idle maids and gullible teenagers. They may be several closet male viewers, but only because they unintentionally figured out the plot in five minutes while waiting for the news. To admit to watching soaps is almost an act of emasculation. You might as well take up knitting. The underlying fear of course, is that they reinforce new rules for masculinity that define how boys become men.

The average fellow detests the TV soaps because the male characters are not relatable. The masculine representations come across as sappy collaborators used as reference material to castigate the regular dude for lacking romantic intuition. Women’s issues are the central theme of soaps. Forbidden love, sin and punishment and happiness after misery. The challenges faced in the perennial search for a good man will include despair, jealousy, and betrayal and sometimes-paternity disputes. In Kenya, there is no Oprah Winfrey-public-therapy equivalent. Men and their ambitions dominate talkshows so the telenovellas fill a huge gap. In the perfect world, all a good woman has to do is remain loyal and beautiful and her prince will be left with the little matter of having to prove his worth. Unless you are prepared to walk her down the aisle, your can forget the goods. Thus, a kiss is dragged out for 13 episodes because good men hold back passion. Naughty girls those ‘sluts’ who give up their bodies so easily, to steal your money can only bring ruin and soil the reputation of good men. Men are also reminded that even poor good guys can net a princess if they tweeze their eyebrows, do regular crunches and act chivalrous.

The chaste female lead is positioned as a heroine who despite making some of the dumbest decisions always triumphs against insurmountable odds. The supporting female cast are; the mother, the nurturer, the ball crusher and the temptress. Rags-to-riches is the recurring storyline. The lower class girl (always a gifted whiner) falling in love with the upper class boy and his family never approve. She is left to deal with evil mother-in-law, sister or best friend. Other women (not as beautiful) are foes who must be kept at bay because men cannot control their urges. Love comes at a great price but she does not walk alone.  Like Nollywood, the good side fights in the name of God and the bad guys will always lose but not before they try the audiences’ patience.

Soaps are ‘soft power’ that I insist on screening as a cultural and moral force capable of influencing our society dramatically. I never estimate the power of tears. Also do not act surprised when your kids start imitating Latino accents. But as far family viewing goes it is a lot better than another televised karaoke contest. At least they do not promote smoking, alcohol, promiscuity and gun violence. Murderers are eventually haunted and ultimately there is redemption for Cinderella wannabes.  This appears to be the encoded social message. Romantic love is not for the faint hearted. Life can get melodramatic and world is full of jealous people who delight in making others unhappy. It is the same shared despair and misery that must afflict Arsenal football fans following the teams’ recent shabby Premier league performance against Manchester United.